Saying goodbye to Malaysia -- For now.

As I wrestle with how to write this last post on Malaysia, I keep thinking of my ACYPL colleague Sarah Fisher's words who said riding to our last dinner: "I don't know if my friends will get this place, no matter how much I try to explain it." I briefly argued the point, because I thought I had it figured out.

But upon the reflection that only comes on 1 hour of sleep, inside a crowded airplane flying over rural Cambodia, I'm not so sure. See, I intended to write a post about the choice facing this country, the choice to fully embrace modernity and grow, or to continue a fairly recent path that is arguably more inward. But the reality is that question --even though I posed it in every meeting or conversation that we had - is unfair because it over simplifies it. Nothing about this place is binary, in fact, I don't even know a word to describe it. Other than love - because I did fall in love with the place and many of the people I met.

The four days in Kuala Lumpur (called KL here) were an absolute whirlwind, seemingly over long before it started. We met with government and political leaders of both the opposition and ruling parties, talked with a broad stroke of media figures, wandered through markets, attended a Christmas party at a home where most people weren't Christian, had fascinating dinners, drank at our hotel bar which looked like the bar scene from Star Wars, and even sang karaoke until 3am. Our Malaysian hosts showed us the time of our lives. Most of us truly fell in love with the place.

So let me set the table.

The scene in KL was more urban than Kuching, and while equally as accepting of religious diversity, KL -- and all of west Malaysia is distinctively Muslim. At the same time, it was more cosmopolitan. Whereas Kuching for us was mostly cultural, the KL days were almost exclusively political.

Malaysia has been ruled exclusively by one governing coalition since independence, and within the coalition, Malay Muslims are the majority. The opposition is a lose affiliation of Chinese, Indians and Malays, and is far more diverse from a religious standpoint.

Malaysia elects its Prime Minister in the British Parliament fashion -- independent elections in constituencies, with the PM going to party or coalition that wins most seats. In 2013, most seats did not equate to most votes, as the opposition coalition won 52 percent of all votes, but only 45 percent of all seats. The way that the constitution apportions seats, one man, one vote, does not apply. Several rural areas have constituencies 1/10th the size of urban seats. The ruling coalition dominated these districts and maintained a majority in Parliament.

Politics in Malaysia doesn't fit in a US right/left paradigm, so this is an over simplification...but the ruling coalition appears to be operating in more of a "base" position, such as embracing a handful of more hard line Islamic positions in attempt to appeal to religion. The opposition is more of a "median voter" position, taking a more technocratic aim on issues of good governance and tolerance.

History says in places like Malaysia, the ruling coalition will eventually fall, so I asked everyone the same question: "where is Malaysia in 10 years?" There was no consensus. What's clear is Malaysia faces a choice. What's not so clear is what the choice is. The ruling and opposition coalitions are loose on their best days.

I did meet two very impressive young leaders, Khairy Jammaluddin, the nation's tech savvy minister of youth and sports, and Nurul Izzah, the 33 year old daughter of one of Malaysia's most famous public figures. Both are bright, charismatic and probably on a crash course to be Prime Minister. My politics definitely align more with Nurul, but both represent a different way of doing business.

The opposition believes the system is rigged against them, and frankly, they might be right. Institutional gerrymandering eschews the balance of power, an bias towards Malays gives the advantage up the ruling party, as do media laws that require papers and radio station to get annual government approval to operate. Opposition candidates get poor coverage, and can't buy ads. But as Japan and Mexico showed, all the interference in the world can't stop a movement for change.

Someone described Malaysia as 80 percent democratic, and that's seems about accurate. And while we met with a more urban crowd, there does seem to be a quiet movement out there for a more forward leaning Malaysia. I will say, I do think the country could be a true Asian tiger - it's geographically well positioned, is small enough to make operating easy, and has a large educated and English speaking population. It's a great Asian entry point for business. But it feels like the country is a bit underachieving.

I had no expectations about Malaysia. From reading, I expected to find a tense, sectarian society, that at times would be uncomfortable for Americans. What I found was an open country, filled with a diverse population of very warm and hospitable people, who despite their ethnic and religious differences, get along pretty well. I never felt like an outsider in Malaysia.

Like America, the differences are at an institutional level, magnified by their politicians, who seek to stove pipe people. But attending a Christmas Party at the home of an Indian, attended by Malay Muslims, Chinese Christians and certainly others, it's clear at least in urban KL, like Kuching, that sectarianism isn't going to win out.

In the end, I came away with lifelong friends, especially Jack Lim, our host, who is a credit to his nation, moving easily and seamlessly through all factions as a trusted person to all -- and a darn good karaoke singer. I also came away with more questions than answers, and a real love for this place. I was prepared to experience Malaysia. I wasn't prepared to fall in love. The people, the culture, the food and the vibe of the place is infectious. As one of my colleagues said, it is modern 'western' enough to be comfortable for guys like me, while still steadfastly Asian, which makes it energetic and always interesting.

Two things for sure. I come home with six new American friends who are now like family to me, and a strong desire to come back and learn more about this part of the world.

Next post: Cambodia.